Wooh, just updated my Zen. My walkman phone memory card full already =(. I think buy a 4 GB mem card is better. But for the meantime i think i have to revive my sleeping Zen. Hahaha..now at least have reason to buy a new earpiece! I love pretty things! =D

TODAY:

Derek ingeniously thought of a way to keep my ichigo thingy from peeling off. ARIGATOU man! Really very sad coz had to spend another freaking 3 bucks on a new ichigo coz the old one crazy already, peel here and there. SO upsetting! And they kindly informed me that gp common test is next friday.

Things happening next friday: gp common test, Mc camp, organic chem makeup tuition. Realised that if i were to skip next saturday's arab course and go for camp, i would have missed 2 lessons already. So wasted.

During bio tut, realised that i had forgotten most of bacteria stuffs. Imagine my virus. Worse.

Cross country just now! Alot of people suddenly signing out. HAHA.. Many others walked all the way. Hot and stuffy. Not say really fun. Already had a looooong day (at least it is for me). Headache some more.

but the worst thing is that i can't watch bleach today and so no ichigo and so i feel so sad sia but can't really show it and felt erm coz why am i so sad coz can't watch bleach today and so no ichigo so i was quite surprised that ichigo which is an anime character can affect me so bad sia i must be mental.

I think my perception of some people have changed. I realised i have my own opinions now. So should i go ahead and defend these opinions of mind when the need arises?

Johnny depp has mixed blood! Cherokee + indian + dunno what my sis forgot but its in Life paper! Oh my god! Oh wow, so now can go up to him and say, hey, we got indian blood! =D

Hidaya=Happy girl today. AHAHA....=D

私は突然彼が女の子に今とても好ましいなぜか理解できない。 ののしり。 それらはなぜ突然私達のテーブルに侵入するか。 ちょうど突然そこに坐らせなさい。 それから坐って想定されている私達はところにか。 それは絞られるか。 それから私達の親愛なるgp教師は私にその気紛れな女の子の側に坐るように頼んだ。 狂気。 なぜ彼ある度に彼女を意志の捕獲物が私に話すか。 偏りのある。 私は彼を良く好む。 彼は私へいまいましい素晴らしい。 彼は何回も私を賞賛した。 そしてDは彼が稀に誰でもを賞賛しないことを言った。 そして彼は私に素晴らしい! 彼は私の心拍をより速く実際にさせる。 ののしり。 I'm UNHAPPY.

Damn today and damn yesterday.

Damn myself for feeling like this.

I feel scorned.

I feel I've been treated unjustly.

And i have to 'suffer' the consequences of something which i did not initiate in the first place.

I feel like Benjamin Barker.

Distrust is understandable given that she is 'afraid' of the same thing happening again.

But forgive and forget is saintly.

And she has no idea of the degree of 'pain' she is inflicting upon me.

If a scenario occurs once, it's an experience, a sort of 'lesson'.

If it happens twice, it's probably coincidence.

But if it happens thrice, is it mere chance?

A curse? Or fate?

I'm IMMENSELY puzzled by something that is apparenty occuring in my life right now.

What, do i emit some sort of signal, that people catch and then exhibit the 'same' interest as me?

HAhahahahHA, Asyikin...this is probably jealousy you're exhibiting here. So chill out and relax. What's the big deal? HE's just that and nothing more. An anime character. So go back to doing your bio spa. And there's charlichan tuition later. Zonked out.

Today was a quite a suay day.

Mr wong said my name out loud in the mic in the lecture theatre coz he saw me flipping through the bio lecture test papers i was supposed to pass them down. Paiseh. ~.~

Then during gp which was half an hour later, i accidentally forgot to put back the bio textbook and just walked out happily with it, and so the damned sensors in the library went BIP BIP BIP. Paiseh. ~.~

Then half an hour later, before chem lect, the j1s were streaming infinitely out from lt3 and we were all waiting impatiently outside and around the door, waiting and wondering when the chain is ever gonna stop. Derek asked whether the left side of the door could be opened. I tried, then said no. So i leant on the door. Suddenly, i was pushed backwards roughly when the door started moving outwards; i nearly fell and knocked into jiemin. Apparently someone decided to open the door from the inside and didn't think there'd be someone at the other end. So shocking. ~.~

Then, after tons of kakashi-ing and ichigo-ing and ikkaku-ing (no zaraki-ing today), the day was FINALLY over! Long John Silver time!! Went on double date with Hidaya, Anna and Yu Xuan. Talking about gp stuffs. Hahaha...and doing what girls are supposedly to excel in. Then went popular coz yuxuan wanna buy earpiece. Seeing all those earpieces made me feel like buying one too. Hahahaha..sort of waste money, but then if u die and didn't use the money u had, then it would be such an awful waste wouldn't it.

So went comix connection and bought....HEHEHEHEH...stuffs for our phone makeovers!!!!! Omg, i wanna buy more of those silver tattoes! I want the cool urahara one!! And i want kakashi!! Hidaayaaa...
I bought a Hollow Bleach hp holder and hidaya bought a Naruto Akatsuki one. Hahaha..dunno why we like the so-called baddies organisations. AND OMG my ICHIGO TATTOO! IS SO BEAUTIFUL!

Still have not studied for math vector test tmr. Hehe.

Palindromes are nice.

Get well soon laina darling! HAhaha..=)

BABYCAKES

A few years back all the animals went away.

We woke up one morning, and they just weren't there anymore. They didn't even leave us a note, or say goodbye. W never figured out quite where they'd gone.

We missed them.

Some of us thought that the world had ended, but it hadn't. There just weren't any more animals. No cats or rabbits, no dogs or whales, no fish in the seas, no birds in the skies.

We were all alone.

We didn't know what to do.

We wandered aroundlost, for a time, and then someone pointed out that just because we didn't have animals anymore, that was no reason to change our lives. No reason to change our diets or to cease testing product that might cause us harm.

After all, there were still babies.

Babies can't talk. They can hardly move. A baby is not a rational, thinking creature.

We made babies.

And we used them.

Some of them we ate. Baby flesh is tender and succulent. We flayed their skin and decorated ourselves in it.Baby leather is soft and comfortable.

Some of them we tested.

We taped open their eyes, dripped detergents and shampoos in, a drop at a time.

We scarred them and scalded them. We burnt them. We clamped them and planted electrodes into their brains. We grafted, and we froze, and we irradiated.

The babies breathed our smoke, and the babies' veins flowed with our medicines and drugs, until they stopped breathing or until their blood ceased to flow.

It was hard of course, but it was necessary.

No one could deny that.

With the animals gone, what else could we do?

Some people complained, of course. But then, they always do.

And everything went back to normal.

Only...

Yesterday, all the babies were gone.

We don't know where they went. We didn't even see them go.

We don't know what we're going to do without them.

But we'll think of something. Humans are smart. It's what makes us superior to the animals and the babies.

We'll figure something out.

~Neil Gaiman.

Blahhh...tiring week ahead. Skipped high jump.Woohee. Next week javelin! =D

Canal. Run. Is. Not. Fun.

Can't believe in the end i ran it. And passed the timing too. Got 25 minutes. With Shahidah. After the run, my nose felt like it's burning. And my head got dizzy. Today, i slept till 12, but when i woke up, my head still aches like mad. Die. Next week got 3 tests: Chem spa, math and bio.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit. KUSO.

I'm joining charlie chan tuition. Can't take any more of the chem crap in class.

Watched part of the campfire. Whoever thought that the fire could race down the rope like some falling dominoes is an idiot. What a cool way to ignite the fire.

RARRR.

I'm suddenly proud of my reading journal. But then ar...why does everyone suddenly turn friendly to that person? Rarrw.

=.=

Wah, today i damn happy, man! =DDD
Hahahahahahahahah.
But most probably i'm feeling happy abot this thing which turns out to be nothing after all.
But still i'm happy! MUAHAHAHHA.

Oh...today got cca open house. Or whatever it's called. I ended up getting free trial tuition by kk and eling. Chem. Wahkao, i even kena chiding from kk coz he saw my energetics notes are half unfilled.
Then even worse, when he asked for energetics tutorial, i meekly told him that i didn't do (which was partially untrue coz i did until question 4). Then he SCOLDED me ah, that guy. How dare..but i feel damn guilty..but try to understand my position lah, like who's my chem teacher and stuff.
I'm not pushing the blame blindly to my chem teacher, i did try my damnedest to understand...but i simply couldn't. She totally demolished what little interest i have/had for chem.
So then yeah, i'm gonna let kk tutor me for chem. Hopefully (x10000) this cpr can revive my dying chem. Before common test. Yes. Gambatte asyikin. Yeah. Yep. Yah. Sighh.

During assembly, jiemin drew a funny picture of orochimaru. Aiyah, stupid com, it can't detect my phone's usb cable. Gonna upload it in school tmr. Really funny. haha. OH OH OH OHHHH!! Hidaya showed me the Oprah Winfrey show with JOHNNY DEPP in it!! Sheesh lah!! He looks awesome in that show! Ok, i won't gush about him too much. It's depressing. But i was absolutely touched when he talked about how he met Vanessa. O gosh. Hahaha.

And today was a good day, eh, hidaya? Hahah. =)

Ok. Today was particularly embarassing.

Especially when me and lina were caught. Staring into the boy's toilet at the fourth floor. Derek was inside and me and lina were joking around with him. We were standing directly in front of the toilet. Theeen...xian guang suddenly appeared from around the corner. And i was so shocked coz i thought it was some stranger. My mind went *bleep* blank, and i automatically started walking away from the toilet. Hahah..halfway though, i realised it was xian guang and i was a little relieved..but stiiilll...later he will think i'm some kind of pervert, ero-sennin. Hahah..whateverlah. Hahah..but still that moment i damn paiseh it was him that i waved at him, said hi, and made a good sign with hand. He must think that i'm mental. It showed on his face when he was mirroring my actions.

Ahh damn.
Seems like we are all running on low batt nowadays.

My outside computer just got fixed. But that person go and install version 2003 for microsoft office and almost all other programs were downgraded. Idiot. So in effect, dad paid $40 for the com to be downgraded. And every single data and programs i downloaded were lost. Lucky lucky lucky i saved most of them in my laptop. Phew. But still.

The other day, a friend asked me this question: How to cure a broken heart? I replied: Time; which sounds cliche, but is actually quite true. He said: No, it can't. So i paused, then quipped: Find someone new. He laughed then said: Yalah, u find someone for me. Then i don't know what to reply.

Actually that conversation made me ponder. Whether what i suggested really works. And the truth behind replacing the special person that u had held for so long in your heart, so easily. I guess it's a matter of willpower? And a touch of acceptance coupled with a dash of renewed zest to starting life, or rather, love, afresh.

Hahah..why am i elaborating this much? Siao. And i have greater things to worry about: Like my dear Sasuke about to get killed by Ameterasu. =(

Oh yea..Azu got into psychology and i couldn't believe it but yeah, it's like so cool coz it's psychology!!! Gyahhhhhhhhhh! And me, azu and hidaya thought of watching Sweeney todd after school, but then it turns out lot 1 doesn't have the movie. =( Then there was a clash of schedules. Damn sad. Johnny depp is more than words, man.

Deathnote 3 is gonna be a loser. L does not jump off trains, aeroplanes; he does not run and etc etc. Crazy director. And i thought this was supposed to be the remaining 23/28? days of his life? And he spent them by solving some epidemic problem? Somehow, i can't find any link. Omg, what is happening to me? I seem to be very the critical about movies. Hm...siao.

Finally i can get to the internet on my laptop. Sheesh. Stupid outside com. I bet all my files are gonna be lost. Makes me so mad everytime i think about it. Must be why today i am in a bad mood.

Went to the Sentosa flower fest on both saturday and sunday. I must be mental. Sat is ok because we go as a cca. Then i went home, my mom said, "Eh, come, let's all go to the flower fest. We bring granny along." And i had no choice but to oblige. On sat, already so tired upon returning, went back sleep my butt off. Then on sunday, my mom wanted to go early at 8.30 am. Freak. I told her i wanted to revise. Homework was out of the question since my com was spoilt, so couldn't do stupid gp research. But then she was kinda 'sad', so wth, i had to give in lah. I slept in the bus and when i woke up an hour later, my head ached. The sun glaring down at us doesn't help either. Ok, i know i shouldn't make such a fuss. But i feel so horrible and mad and stressed and disappointed and tired and i just feel like crying now coz life is currently bullying me in varying degrees; from family to studies to personal relationships to self-conflicts. Suddenly, every minor problem is magnified a hundredfold.

Everything seems bleak and uninteresting. The only times when i feel, is when i laugh at and with my friends, and nothing else, really. Studies does not really entice my curiousity like in the past. I think it's the way they are taught. And the rigid structure. Like they expect us to visualise stuffs from black and white WORDS. And this disgusts me so. And i hate it that i have to go through this. Choice. I know that i can do it if i put my heart in it. But reality shows otherwise. It shows that my interest is falling. And whatever is taught everyday at school is absorbed by my brain...and that's that. No stimulation of curiousity or even the slightest spark of awe at the intro of new knowledge. And i hate. This.

Curiousity, love.

I can't even READ! The pleasure of reading!! I realised i have recently been attempting to inject this much-needed pleasure back into my life. It felt awesome, really. But it's sad to think of the last 2 years spent reading only 2 or 3 books per year. All the times wasted, all potential acquaintances with new worlds and characters, escaped through my fingertips. And i could see the effect reflected upon my gp results. Today, during gp, the teacher mentioned hedonism. Hahaha..reminded me of Anne Rice's famous vampires. Particularly Lestat.

Hahaha...this clip reminds me of Rock Lee's drunken fist technique when he's fighting Kimimaro! Love Naruto!http://youtube.com/watch?v=GaAvNHWjInM&feature=related

And somehow, i'm feeling like this right now. The picture's a bit ambigious though.

Ohh...we nearly burn the sink at the chem lab this morning. Nice one, Jiemin!!!! HAHAH. Cool. I need more excitement than what i'm getting right now. Watched the movie Around the World in 80 Days, and dreamt of travelling around the world ( but now the world is getting more chaotic and uglier i think, thanks to us). Watched Under the Tuscan Sun and at one part..one crucial part..i thought, "I hate men." But that was during the heat of the moment. Haha. Really, though, all the men in the lead's life were bastards.

Ok. ciao. Sighh..no more hockey! =(

Photos from yesterday at science centre:





Pathma fell in luv with this guy above.
The talk was so-so..abit boring ah. He was showing us about cloned animals in this world, and when he reached the 4th slide, i was getting a bit sick of these animals already. Then we explored sci centre abit. The mummies exhibit was cool. There was an empty display and hidaya attempted to climb it to display herself as an exhibit. Err.

VALENTINE'S DAY

First thing in the morning: "Let's try harder next year!" - Quote from yuxuan ah. =D Hahah, i still can laugh now coz it's so funny! Inside joke =P





So yea..today is Valentine's day! The day before, when me and hidaya were at the ntuc buying chocs, the cashier asked me, "So many ppl buying chocs ah?" with an amused smile.


Hahaha...





Gahh..i'm feeling happy today =DD Somebody laughed and said thanks and smiled and laughed! And somebody complimented something! It's the little things that somebody does that gets me. Hahaha...





Izzati's reaction to the ferrero rocher was scary. It's a good reaction, but nonetheless, scary. Hahaha...





Lina's charming gift and hidaya's hilarious cravings on the chocs were so sweet...THANKS DARLINGS!! LOVE U!!! Hahaha...





And the song Teardrops on my Guitar came on. I was dreading it. Not joking. I fell in love with the song but at the same time i hated it. Listening to it about 10 times a day for almost a month helps. So when i heard the first strums of the guitar, there was goosebumps on my skin, so i clapped my hands over my ears. It's absolutely fantastic that i was in such an infallible good mood today that i didn't..well..
And Lina and Rachel were both tugging at my hands to let go of my ears. Good effort guys. Hahaha...


Dammit, i'm feeling happy. =D Annnd hidaya..the video we saw at the lib, the one that we watched before potc just now..go watch it. And tell me whether it's funny or simply ridiculous. And i can't figure out why orang tu buat sign 'good' dengan tangannye. Orang tu say kene dengar lyrics. I think it's stupid. Go watch ar.



Saudi arabia ~

Sweeney Todd is nearly completed! Maaan, i regret coloring his hair with charcoal pencil! Wish i'd just stuck to my 2B pencils!







daydream~







How to change the way u see the world? You create your own reality through the way u perceive the external world. So it's in my hands. Whether or not to feel this way or to think that way.





=D

Anyways, there's this unsettling discovery today. This twinge of jealousy. Just the barest rearing of its head. It's not the fatal hatred kind of envy. Just normal jealousy, the kind u get when u see someone u like talking to another girl perhaps. Nothing too complicated. Just simple. Stay simple. =)

Arrgh, mdm lim now thinks i daydream in her class! Ok, i admit, sometimes, when i get bored, my thoughts changed channels. For a while. Only. Then i come back.

Seeing sk (ms koh...)today suddenly reminds me of the time during 06s05 gp lesson with mdm lin, we were talking about the 7 deadly sins. Hahaha...think fullmetal alchemist. Wah, my thoughts were random just now i guess. And now azie's also addicted to Fma!!! Woohoo!!!!!!! Fma was the First anime i fell in love with. Tragic. =)

Tmr got gp lesson! I discovered that embryonic stem cells can be grown into hair folicles! My boon!!! Now i'm sorely tempted.

I think i may well search for a theme song too. Heheheh.

Let me tell u something funnily weird..creepy even. This morning, after pe, we took our weight. My weight was constant. Ok lah, at least didn't go up. Then, we went for our run, but i didn't run. Instead, i walked for half a round and then sat at the grandstand and drank water. Then, we weighed again and surprise surprise...my weight had decreased by 0.4kg! That was officially one of my top weirdest moments in life.


Let me tell u another thing. today, while waiting for my sis outside her sch gate, a group of girls appeared from opposite the road from the sch gate. Thhen one of them started smiling and waving furiously at me. I musthave given her a very puzzled look coz she stopped, stared and then suddenly exclaimed in malay, "Eh! wrong person!!!" And then they started laughing hysterically. When she crossed the road, she apologized to me then laughed again. wow.


Let me tell u yet another interesting thing. Hidaya and me seemed to sing sweeney todd songs every chem practical lesson. Quite loudly too. I wonder why. Stimulatin' innit?

And another thing before i go: geog notes are confusing. Think i'll stick to my former one. Too wordy and like grandmother story like that.

And finally, i am tired today. Time to sleep. And all the best for those having bio spa tmr! >.<

p.s = jie min can be 'gila' sometimes. Heh heh heh.

Argh.
Spoilers.
Everywhere.
Misery loves company.

Still haven't watch Sweeney.
Ahh.

So much to catch up in Chem.
Bugger.

Itachi's gonna use Ameterasu. Black Flames. Bloody hell, Sasuke's dead.
And i don't want him to be dead.
Misery loves company.


F*** them bloody cowards who did this to her. Bloody assholes. Leave her alone. Crap. Bloody freaking cowards. Leave THEM alone. They're the only family i ever have. Wish i could do SOMETHING but i'm hapless.

Ok, the above pic is lina and izzati ask me to post one.

Today, asyikin wishes to share her thoughts and her day with u =D :



- Aloha pizza is yummy!



- Looong time never drink root beer.

The cheese sprinkler formed a heart shape after i used it!

- Cream mushroom soup is nice.



- So many things to do with your fingers and tongues and eyebrows that you will never be bored in your life ever. Again.



- Out of the many freaky abilities, i passed only 2 or 3.



- So it's not only me who thinks he's interesting. Hmmmm.



- Something about today which made me ponder. On one of my most treasured values: love; in all its ambiguity.



- Speaking of ambiguity, I borrowed a book with an intriguing title: Seven types of Ambiguity. Yet to read, but the first few pages were absorbing.



- Head was throbbing for a good whole chunk of the afternoon. =(



- The inescapable and once-thought ridiculus attraction.



- Me? Health nut? NO WAY! Hahaha!



- Ooops.



- I still wanna watch Sweeney Todd...on second thoughts, maybe i'll just buy the dvd.



- http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/sweeney_todd_the_demon_barber_of_fleet_street/ But i wanna watch in a BIGGER screen! Ahh..god..why is Johnny so damn good???!!!



- I need retail therapy!!!



- I am so not looking forward to these 4 days of inactivity at home. Study study study. Die sia.



- Am gonna draw Sweeney. Ahhhhhhh.

So....tmr is CNY concert!

I'm in a bubbly kind of mood today! God, i laughed more than usual today. Especially during chem prac. Hidaya was partly to blame. Omygosh lah, hidaya, i nearly got frozen that time from laughing too much. =D

(I have this weird habit of turning ice cold from laughing. People gets hotter when they laugh, but i get colder. And my fingernails turns purple. But when i calm down, my temp returns to normal.)


After school, went long john silver with hidaya and lina. Ate the potato crisps, ah, dunno what they are called. Ugh! After eating those freaky stuffs, i felt like bloody throwing up. Really bad. The kind when your stomach disagrees totally, absolutely with something. Ugh. And there's still no sign of icha icha...cheer up hidaya! =D

I think i kinda hate these fast food at fast food restaurants. Everytime i see a bloody burger, i taste..a bloody burger: the same old lettuce leaf, the same old patty (hello again), the same old sauce. If only there is a Banquet at lot 1. Waaaaah!

I want my Swensens Ice-cream!!! <3

(some) Reasons why i LOVE johnny depp:

- He donated nearly $2 million to the London hospital that treated his eight-year-old daughter when she suffered from kidney failure.

- This past November, he had his Captain Jack Sparrow costume flown to London from L.A. and spent four hours reading bedtime stories to patients.

And i so so wanna watch sweeney todd!

You may exchange wedding fingers now....
You make *bloody* kiss.
I now pronounce you Husband and wife!









































* i think the thought that was once impossible may be overturned. capsized. keeled over. Transformed into the possible. I think. Or maybe it's because i think too much. Hahah. Chill.

School's a mess. Seriously.

Stayed back yesterday to play badminton with Mai, baz, jess and gui hao. I long time never play liao, like 2 years already, so i warned them first. We were playing in the hall beside the pro badminton ppl some more. So...during the first 2 serves, wah i made a complete Idiot of myself. Throw the shuttlecock, but my racket hit the air. Twice. Consecutively. Damn paiseh leh. People beside me playing pro-ly.

But then as the game progresses, i got the hang of it. And i used to be quite good at it too! Just that i need to remember to slack my wrists abit. Coz the racket handle keeps hitting my wrists when i tried to maneuvre the racket. Stiff hands. Playing with u guys are so fun! And funny! Mai was very funny lor, the shuttlecock hit her head quite a number of times! And baz has good stamina!

Oh my god, i so don't look forward to doing gp research.

Well, on the brighter side, today, my family went out to celebrate dad's promotion. Went to Swensens. Wahsey..can tell ms loh that i volunteer to run 8 rounds on monday. But the Gold Rush ice cream was SO SO YUMMY!!! MUAHAHAHAH. Yum. Omg. I was looking at the menu and thinking, Am i really gonna do this? After all the hunger strike? And wholemeal breakfast? ...And then my brain goes YES YES YES! And so. Yah.

Theeeen, we managed to persuade my mom to change her hp. It's so freaking OLD. It's a nokia butterfly model. No bluetooth, no cam, no radio, no mp3. So i asked her to change and she chose sony ericsson model like hidaya's one. K650i or something. Then after that, my sis wanna change her hp too, so she changed to a freaking nice slide phone, W580i or something. Wahlao, and then in the shop i saw my phone model, W880i in BLACK and RED! The one that i fell in love with! But then i already bought this silver model. ARGGH!! If only i can paint my phone or something.

Maybe i'll just buy the dvd for Sweeney Todd. =(

I'm gonna make a promise to myself: For this upcoming CNY hols, i am gonna REVISE BIO and CHEM! So i will be afk-ing from com for a while.

>>>>Sometimes, u gotta be honest with yourself. If a person says that he/she doesn't like something or someone, u don't just follow blindly.

>>>>And one more thing: If standing up for what u believe in will get u ostracised from those u call friends, would u betray yourself, or sift out your REAL friends?

>>>>How do u define friendship? One that's built over the years? One that's built on solid communication? One built on sharing of passion and ideas? Or one built on trust and acceptance?

I guess things are a bit confusing right now, so i'll just...um...go back to reading naruto manga.