CNY

Today kick started with a bang but ended with a twist...

It is smart and casual day today...and pj is also celebrating CNY. 04 was crazy in a fun way during the Low Hei competition...the class took tons of (stupid, emo, crazy, cute, funny) pictures. Can't wait to get them...HAHAR!! I enjoyed today so much that I hoped just now would never end. We could go on a tour of the world and take our photos everywhere...

The Low Hei thingy ah...wah...I really no appetite to eat after seeing where the slices of food-or more like veggies-landed on after being hauled up into the air. Hey, no offence ah..ohoho...

AH.

Then, I scurried off (quite reluctantly) to meet my friend, Cucumber. But I was also very excited to see her. I mean, we have not seen each other for like decades. I had also specially prepared a present for her. It was truly special. Not that I am a lesbo or something, but our history dates way back when we were in K1. You can imagine how close we are.

AH....

But the time spent with her just now...it was different frm all the other times we've spent together. I thought it would only be us. But it turns out there were 4 of us. 2 of them are just back from Army duty...they're guys.

AH.

Not that I have anything against guys, but they were THE kind of boys. The whole complete package of everything I despise in a guy. Maybe I am being biased. Coz I was initially shocked when I saw them. And to even consider one of them as the bf of Cucumber...I was so damned confused, I lost my appetite.

AH, what lies life brings.

We were seated @ BK. They were eating. I was staring. There were no awkward moments-and I wasn't even properly introduced to them-coz I told myself to be strong for her. She, being the one who is so adept at reading my emotions, apologized when the 2 guys were buying a drink. Me, being the one who is so forgivable, forgave her and said "Nevermind" with a smile.

AH.

The guys. They smoke, they are vertically challenged, tattoos and they are the typical Mat you can see almost everywhere. But then, I couldn't be too harsh on judging them...coz they are humans who can feel insulted too.

AH.

Sometimes, she walks beside me, and other times, she held hands with him. Not that I disagree with that kind of physical contact, but seeing my friend just now was like meeting a whole new butterfly from a whole new coccoon. Those moments were awkward. Coz I would be tagging behind and the other guy would be walking next to me. And I would feel so confused. What exactly is the purpose of him bringing his friend along? And why, why did Cucumber didn't tell me earlier that they were coming? I would have said no.

So for the rest of the day, Rizel took over. She is more confident in these situations; where you have to just play along in order to save a friendship you treasure. I still love her. I just am afraid that she might think I'm trying to control her life. She is correct. It is her life, not mine. I could only watch from the sidestands: cheering her on, or aiding her when she fell and bruised herself and even throwing advices galore.

Back when we were in cckss, many people were surprised that we were that best friends. We are on opposite poles...with hardly any similarities. I was into anime and other related stuffs, she was into beauty and boys. How could we ever maintain a friendship this long I wonder? And still be bossom buddis too. It was a mystery that has been boggling my mind and also hers for years.


But I was so disappointed with her. No, I can feel that we are not heading for a downfall, it was just plain uncensored disappointment that is still aching in my chest now. I thought she values relationships with guys...but I would have never imagined her liking someone like that. He doesn't look like someone who goes to the mosque and pray 5 times a day. I bet $20 that he couldn't even read the Quran, or gave up halfway through. No, I don't look for a pious guy...but they must have and understand the basics...

Ok, I've babbled a little too much. Just hopes that she...well...yeah...buhbye.