Me Myself and My worries

I am so......down. I am so feeling down nowadays. No mood to laugh. Even if I laugh, its only at the mere irrelevance of things.
I think Liyana noticed; she asked me why I'm so quiet..(?) *even though I think I'm always sort of like quiet*
Promos approaching soon and my hair is getting thinner. My resolve is slipping and sometimes I feel the great big black hole of despair that threatens to swallow me up, sort of like what the Kraken did to Jack Sparrow.
speaking of Jack, I wanted to show my sister Edward Scissorhands but I can't seem to find any opportunity to do so. And oh, speaking of my sister, her birthday is looming around the corner. Not that I dread ger brthday or what-since I used the word 'loomed'- but the truth is, I've only got about $20 with me now and I can't buy her a catridge that I had thought of giving her earlier this year.
See? I'm no good at keeping resolutions.
So...what should I get her? Yea yea, most of you would say to give her a gift from the heart, even though it costs $1. But in reality, little gifts like that-apart from cards-often get thrown away, ether accidentally or with discretion, as their appearance is uncannily like paper junk.
Pardon my callousness.
Sigh. Sometimes, I feel...nay, i am convinced that I'm a spoilt ungrateful brat. Why do I degrade myself like this? Here's why: Actually, I fancied myself receiving a brand new catridge for my GB adv SP, but my parents bought for me a pair of new sports shoes.
There. Now can you see why I call myself thus?
Ok, after typing those lines, I felt ashamed. Maybe those sports shoes aren't that bad a gift after all. Look at those poor kids in unfortunate countries. Ok, so they are great gifts. Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad.
Though in my herat, I secretly, or perhaps fervently HOPE that some presents are more fun. My family thinks that I'm too grown up for games(?). I still recall fondly when I was back in Primary 1, where my Uncle presented to me a huge set of racing cars with its tracks. It was SUPER fun! Unfortunately, a few years later, some of the parts went missing and it was donated to the Kampong.
Now, they give me 'needs' instead of 'wants'. Oh..k....so ,I'm ungrateful...fullstop.
I still love them, don't get me wrong here. But I would seriously appreciate it if they had given me a book instead of baju kurungs and chocolates. I don't really fancy Malay dresses and chocolates would further increase my mass. a book would do just fine.
I had been so deprived from the company of fictions that I bought a Penguin Classics of selected Ta;es from edgar Allen Poe. A few of his literature are so cheem that I don't bother to read. However, tales like 'The Black Cat', 'The Facts of Mr Valdemar' and his detective Dupin series are so captivating. I admit that I spent the weekend leisurely adoring his literature instaed f revising for my promos. (Again, displaying my procrastination habits.)
My wound is healing nicely now. The wound was conceived (by tripping over my own legs) on Thursday. On Saturday, I went to the mosque in the morning, and so my Mama placed a gauze over it after applying yellow liquid stuff. When I reached home and began undressing the dressing, the scab stuck to the gauze and the wounds (2 of them, one the size of a ten cent coin, the other slightly larger than a fifty cent coin) tore open and fresh red blood oozed out. Ouchies.
And on Monday morning, as I was preparing to sit down on a stool to pray, somehow, my bum missed the stool and I fell backwards and 2 slashes appeared on the bigger wound. Ouchies 2.
Now, today, however, I don't wlak wih a limp anymore, thank god. And I will continue praying to God until my wound fully heals....